Joke

Bad Food

Waiter! I don’t want to eat this junk.
Bring me the cook.
- Don’t waste your time, Sir. He won’t eat it either.

Love versus Soccer

Says she: “Honey, I think you love soccer more than me!”.
Says he, “Well, uh, dear, but I love you more than golf!”.

In Court

Lawyer: “Now that we have won, will you tell me confidentially
if you stole the money?”
Client: “Well, after hearing you talk in court yesterday,
I am beginning to think I didn’t.”

The debt

“When are you going to pay me back, Ivan?”
“As soon as my rich uncle from the States comes to Brazil to visit me.”
“Well, that’s an old story, one I’ve been listening to for years.”
“I can show you his letter.”
“So what does he say?”
“He’s asking me to buy him a ticket.”